Everything And Nothing

Starting from Scratch

"Not all horses were born equal. A few were born to win."
~ Mark Twain

Sometimes we are compelled to start our lives over "from scratch."

"Starting from scratch" is a familiar saying, but do you know where it comes from? Surprisingly, not from the kitchen, but from the rules of 18th-century English horse racing, which permitted gentlemen to "fix" races so that, in theory, all the horses could cross the finish line together, with the winner only beating his competition by a nose. Of course, this never happened. Nonetheless, in order to perpetuate the illusion of "a jolly good show," the horse considered the finest was sent to the back and had to start the race from behind a line scratched in the turf or gravel.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach, Something More

Designing Ourselves

"It's when we're given choice that we sit with the gods and design ourselves."
~ Dorothy Gilman

After breath, is there a more precious gift than free will?

Consider for a moment there are only three ways to change the trajectory of our lives for better or worse: crisis, chance, and choice.

And choices can be conscious or unconscious. Conscious choice is creative, the heart of authenticity. Unconscious choice is destructive, the heel of self-abuse. Unconscious choice is how we end up living other people's lives. "The most common despair is ... not choosing, or willing, to be oneself," the nineteenth-century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard warns us, "but the deepest form of despair is to choose to be another than oneself." 

We're terrified of making choices because we're convinced we'll make the wrong one. Again. But only we are the catalysts for the quality of our lives. Take a leap in the dark and hope you land on your feet. Live your choice. It's a calculated risk - just do the best you can.

If you primary reaction is to avoid choice - put it off as long as possible - you are postponing the inevitable. By not choosing, we allow others to decide for us. (But remember, if you didn't make the choice, you can't blame someone else if you're unhappy.)

Choice is destiny's soul mate.

[ via Sarah Ban Breathnach, Something More ]

Starting Over

"On this narrow planet, we have only the choice between two unknown worlds," the French writer Colette instructs us. "One of them tempts us - ah! what a dream to live in that! - the other stifles us."

Take a deep breath.

What if I told you that a year from today, you could be living your dreams, but (there's always a "but") it would mean that every day between now and then you would have to choose your destiny: in other words, that there are at least 365 choices between your dream and its coming true?

That's all. Just 365 choices.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach, Something More

Facing your future by excavating your past

The subtitle of Something More, Excavating Your Authentic Self, is what intrigued me about the book (on the shelf). Sarah says that life experiences leave layers of memory on our souls, like silt - and we need to be archaeologists for ourselves.

She points out that excavating is not glamorous work - it demands painstaking effort under often harsh conditions. What you're searching for are the moments that made a difference in your life: successes, failures, loves, hates, gains, losses, promises, pain, tumults, triumphs, risks, and ruins.

One point of the excavation process is searching for "small things forgotten" - decoding all the things in the past that have made you happy that you have forgotten

When the student is ready

"If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches."
~ Carolyn Kenmore

Soul-directed events push us past the perimenter of comfort and the safety of old patterns. They defy logic and ridcule reason - but they never betray us.

We must pass through the Valley of the Shadow of discouragement, denial, doubt and darkness before we emerge into the light of Something More. We learn joy - the abscence of fear.

Sarah says that many of us confuse happiness with joy. Happiness is generally triggered by external events - the promotion, the man, the mortgage applicaton approved.

But joy is Something More.

Surprised by Joy

"The soul is here for its own joy."
~ Rumi

Always remember, never forget: first the gesture, then the grace. Extend an invitation to meet your fears.

Julian Sleigh, in Crisis Points: Working Through Personal Problems, reminds us that we only have three choices when we look at our fears:

1. Ignore it and hope it will go away. (It won't.)
2. Try and live with it. (Not forever)
3. Look for the gift within our fear and benefit from it. (And when we do, we emerge on the other side of life - surprised by joy.)

Something More

Sometimes a book, like a man, or a song, finds you at just the right time.

I was browsing through the library this weekend - just fumbling through blindly, doing my usual judging books by covers. I stumbled upon Sarah Ban Breathnach's Something More. I was intrigued by the subtitle of "excavating your authentic self" so I read a few pages and decided to check it out. It's not my usual type of book, but it has definitely been the right book at the right time.

So I'm going to share little nuggets from the book when I feel like it (as usual) under a new category of Something More.

Because we could all use a little something more in our lives! ;)

Here's the beginning of the book:

Human beings, as far as I can tell, seem to be divided into two subspecies - the resigned, who live in quiet desperation, and the exhausted, who exist in restless agitation. The quiet and resigned believe that our time on Earth is random, a roll of cosmic dice, completely beyond our control. You know these folks when you hear them; their sighs speak volumes.

The rest of us - the restless agitators - sense that there's got to be Something More...