Everything And Nothing

8 international Christmas dinners

• Czech Republic: Fish soup, fried carp, potato salad
• Ethiopia: Spicy stew over flat sourdough bread
• France: Oysters, roast goose, foie gras
• Hungary: Meat broth with egg noodles, stuffed cabbage
• Mexico: Pork loin, fire-roasted poblanos with meat stuffing and walnut sauce
• Poland: Waffles, sauerkraut, carp
• Scotland: Wild-boar terrine, fruits laced with Glavya liquer, poached salmon
• South Africa: Suckling pig, yellow rice with raisins

[ via Real Simple magazine, December 2007 ]

Sophisticated silhouettes

Holiday silhouettes give these red damask dessert plates a sophisticated flair. Pretty gift box protects them until next year. Crafted of dishwasher and microwave safe porcelain.

Red and chandeliers. 'Nuff said. ;)

$39.50

On Dasher

Cute nightshirt features shopper in Santa suit and sneakers with the message “On Dasher. On Dancer. On Master and Visa!” 100% cotton shirt comes in its own drawstring bag. Machine wash; imported. One size fits most women; 40 1/2" long.

$24.99

You will believe in Santa Claus! ;)

Tired of Santa not listening to you? Well, surf on over to Simon Sez Santa - where your wish is his command!

Charles at Signature Advertising says to try these:  drink beer, belch, spit milk, jump over chair, yodel, backflip, riverdance, splits, punch elf... the list goes on and on and on. I tried fart, skip and sing and he did all these too. (Go ahead... make fun of me. But you try to type in one-word commands for Santa. It's harder than you think.) ;)

Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (two sticks) butter
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, asdesired)

First, sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour another 4 ounces in a measuring cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of the butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another 4 ounces, just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, picking the frigging fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas.

Go Elf Yourself

The E&N Elf wishes all of you a merry Christmas!

Christmas Carols For The Mentally Unstable

• Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
• Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
• Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
• Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
• Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and.....
• Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
• Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
• Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
• Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy .......oooooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, J ingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

How Charles Dickens Saved Christmas

How did Dickens save Christmas? Through the immense popularity of A Christmas Carol. The book played a major role in reinventing Christmas as a holiday emphasizing family, goodwill, and compassion over communal celebration and hedonistic excess.

In the US, short stories by Washington Irving depicting the English celebration of Christmas helped re-popularize it. So this Christmas, raise a glass to Charles and thank him for the day (or the day off anyway).

Read the full story from the Mental Floss blog.

Santa Trivia

• St. Nicholas' list of patronages is one of the longest in all Christendom. His connection to children led to his role as Santa, but Nicholas also watches over notaries, pharmacists, poets, soldiers, and the imprisoned, among many others. In fact, he's such a versatile saint that he also serves as a patron for both prostitutes and virgins. (Honestly.)
• There's long been a theory that Clement Clarke Moore did not write "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," but plagiarized it from obscure poet Henry Livingston, Jr. The notion gained credibility when literature professor Don Foster, who utilized computer software to out Joe Klein as the author of the previously anonymous "Primary Colors," claimed that Moore's writing style was utterly incongruent with the classic Christmas poem. Moore still has plenty of defenders - but it's quite possible the man who helped invent the modern Santa was a sham.
• In Greece, the Santa role is still sometimes played by St. Basil the Great, who delivers presents not on Christmas, but New Year's (his feast day) riding atop a donkey. Basil, who lived about the same time as St. Nicholas, came from a family of saints: the Eastern Orthodox Church also sainted his mother, grandmother, sister, and two of his brothers.
• It wasn't until the Civil War that Santa landed his world-famous outfit. In 1863, a cartoonist named Thomas Nast, who incidentally also drew the first version of the Uncle Sam we recognize today, published a drawing of a fat, bearded man with a thick fur suit in "Harper's Weekly." Over the next 20 years, Nast's annual Santa portraits became a staple in "Harper's."
• Many children figure out the non-existence of Santa Claus when they begin to contemplate the enormity of his task. And, indeed, Santa would need some rocket-powered reindeer: assuming the world contains two billion households and Santa visits every one over the course of 24 hours, he would have to travel at a rate of 8 million meters per second, leaving him precious little time to dip cookies in milk.

[ via Mental Floss' Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets ]

Holiday Party Excuse Generator

(Click for the full image)

Answer a few simple questions and the Holiday Party Excuse Generator will come up wit the perfect alibi for you.

Cozy up with a glass of eggnog and a great book in front of the fire - and let the generator do all the excuse work for you.